Personal Safety Advocate Pillows

'Just checking my anti-rape alarm...'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Cricket Accidents.

"Getting the hang of it?"

Reasonableman

Cafe Burns.

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Careful."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Boozing and Cruising

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."