Public Safety Advocate Pillows

"If we go next door there's a 'bobby on the beat'."

"Kennedy Jnr. backtracks on measles outbreak in Texas" "About time"

"Well, I should probably go—work's really starting to pile up."

"This locksmith bill is outrageous. People, please—when you lock 'em up, don’t throw away the key.”

Police Cuts: Enough is Enough!

Tragedy in the Mexico DF subway

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Dog Crossing

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Getting the hang of it?"

Reasonableman

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Careful."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Boozing and Cruising

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'