Safety Conscious Soul Pillows

"Health and safety need you to put rubber tips on your arrows and replace the angel tears in your love potion with saline."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

No Immediate Danger

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

Don't be afraid, dear. It's safer than driving.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

The Sensitive Dude.

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"I knew it!"

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

What?

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'Be sure to eat every bite — the chef is a very sensitive guy.'

"Funnily enough, although Rex said I was "too chicken to try", I made the sensible choice..."

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

"It's okay. I'm still ranked at the top of my class in self-esteem."

"Did I miss something?"

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

'Nice try, Mom! They're pinking shears.'