Safety Conscious Rebel Pillows

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

Had enough of the box.

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"Old economy, new economy - some things never change."

Tough Teddies

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

The Surly Yoof

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

'Didn't you learn ANYTHING from all your years at school?' 'Em... Skiving'.

Australian punk

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"How can you say my hat is on back to front when you don't know which way I'm going to go?"

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

"I've joined an Eminem tribute band."

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."

'It just happens that all my heroes are anti-heroes.'

What to do if the kids take away your car.

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'