Safety Advice Pillows

A young Don King

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Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

No Immediate Danger

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Beware of Falling Notice.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'