Safari Humorists Pillows

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

City Zoo: Day Care

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Hats and Food

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Scuba cow"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."