Safari Humorists Gifts

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

City Zoo: Day Care

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."