Saddle Sipper Pillows

Cowboy with saddle coffee holder.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."