Bedside Sipper Pillows

Wine Lover

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Beer Stall

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

Beach flirting

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Get well soon!

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Anton's Bar and Grill

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

Complaints Desk

A very fine vintage

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'