Saddle Seeker Gifts

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

Mounting a Horse

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Beach con-man.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Shoe addict.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Pampered and poodled.

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"I don't like your application."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

'I'll take it!'

Changing Room Decisions

"Well Earned Vacation"

Elegant woman in backless dress.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."