Sacrament Scholars Pillows

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Well, we needed the rain."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"If God had intended us to fly in jets, He would have seen to it that the Wright Brothers invented jets."

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians..."

Eucharist

'Oh, another thing, there'll be no more of this standing upright business, ok?'

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

Oh, @#$%, is that

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

Virgin MaryExtra Virgin Mary.

"No, we won't take Greek relic instead!"

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"Then the angel Gabriel said to Joseph in a dream.. 'Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call Him Emmanuel." "I thought His name was Jesus!?".