Sabbath Supporters Gifts

Curate talking to miners

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'What I learned from the cat is that taking a nap is delightful but taking several naps is priceless.'

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"It's the new church organ."

The Good News, the Media Nothwithstanding

Beggars on the street.

"And you thought you were having a bad hair day."

Blessed are the brief.

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

Boy playing and sundayschool teacher

And on the Seventh Day...

116 DAYS WITHOUT A COMPLIMENT