S'mores Gifts

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Stick them up...'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'S'more wine?'

"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

'They speak fish!'