Ruthless Competitor Pillows

"I started out in scheming but wheedled my way up to backstabbing."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

Supermarket Merge

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Plane with banner shoots at another.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

' Love and pole vault'

A Man mixing up his sports.

'I hate these non-hostile takeovers...'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Man coming home and kicking cat, wife asks 'Had a good match dear?'

'He was competitive to the very end.'

Umbrella fight.

Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold my masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink Coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.

Rugger.

"All As. What did you get?"

Who said, women are no-good at boxing?

"Sorry, Hogg is no longer with the firm."

Space Hopper Rodeo

"Oh, Jeez! A pube in my tea! How the heck did that get there?"

'Al was competitive to the end!'

"I hate playing with pros!"

'You can't call it a fluke after forty-three wins.'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'Hey! He's wearing shoes!!'