Ruthless Rival Pillows

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

Cat taunts dog at intersection.

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

'I hate these non-hostile takeovers...'

'Our competition is quite energetic.'

Baseball Angels

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

'Friends are important...but you need enemies to keep your edge.'

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

"It's not enough that I succeed. My friends must also be drawn and quartered."

"Sorry, Hogg is no longer with the firm."

Therapist wearing a Yankees' cap talks with an upset patient wearing a Mets cap.

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

'Polevault envy'.

"That settles it, John! We're getting this bike a tune-up!"

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."