Rustic Food Lover Gifts

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Grandma's caf

'Is this still America?'

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"God, I miss the old days!"

Country life

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

I think he must have been in marketing before --- He's all about branding.

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

Early American Think Tank.

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

"Sometimes I come up here and think about the great meals I've eaten."

Grandparents with their grandchild

'Good news! We've finished the Christmas leftovers.'

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

Be Believable Anywhere, Anytime in these Quality Fib Overalls.

"It's steak and chips, it is what the ploughman had for lunch!"

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

'A wee bowl of porridge can set you up for the day!'

Related

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

'Well Cookie. . . it looks like some horse droppings, cattle droppings, some tumbleweeds, barbed wire and parts from an old wagon. . . What the heck do you call it??'

Farm notice - Milk Your Own Cow.