Rustic Dining Enthusiast T-Shirts

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

Thatched roof car.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Ten out of ten for effort...

Platter confusion.

"And how would you like your steak?"

"....and hold the garlic."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

Executive Tacos

"Let me take that for you."

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'