Rustic Food Fan T-Shirts

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Freshest ice cream in town!

Before/After

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Bedside Manna.

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

Party Animal, Party Vegetable, Party Mineral

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

"Have you been eating curry again?"

Pop up hell

"All our water is locally sourced. From a little something we call 'the kitchen faucet'."

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

'Fancy a take-away?'

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

Here's your 18-inch pipin' hot pepperoni. I will devour. Wait, give it just a minute. Must … hold … on. Roof-of-mouth burn. Another hot-pizza-related injury. Dear reader, We spare you the carnage.

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

"Banana! Banana! My energy break!"

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

Yesterday of Minnesota.

'Polly wants a cracker and you might as well throw in a bowl of chili while you're at it.'

101 Placenta Recipes

'This placenta's not very filling, I think I'll nip out for a pizza.'

'What have you got today?' - 'If you don't smell it, we haven't got it.'

"Lemming" Meringue Pie

Stadium. Food. Beer. In a fan vote, pizza was chosen as the favorite food this season. Ah, so the hot dog is make a concession speech!