Rustic Charm Lover Gifts

A moonshiner waits for his martini.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

Turkey wary of Christmas

Horse riders

A shepherd with crook.

'You travelled 6,000 miles to find Chateau Grande Magnifique? Buddy, you're looking at it.'

Yes... this breaks up the space nicely.

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country Bumpkin.

Falstaff

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

Opening the Barrel

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

Olive Tree

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Person Reading For Pleasure

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

"It takes years before some people are comfortable enough to say hello."

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."