Rustic Charm Appreciator Gifts

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Country Bumpkin.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Falstaff

Thatched roof car.

Opening the Barrel

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

Olive Tree

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Person Reading For Pleasure

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

House Hunters of the Old West

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

"It takes years before some people are comfortable enough to say hello."

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

'You travelled 6,000 miles to find Chateau Grande Magnifique? Buddy, you're looking at it.'

Be Believable Anywhere, Anytime in these Quality Fib Overalls.

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

Adult filmstrips

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

"Of course it's horse-proof. Everything I own is horse-proof."

A shepherd with crook.

Turkey wary of Christmas