Historic Charm Appreciator Gifts

Damn me! I knew they'd get past those planning laws somehow.

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

Posh Easter Egg

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

Baby car seat for a Native American.

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"It's a student you taught 20 years ago asking if you'd loan him bail money!"

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

In the Year 2525

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

How Staring Contests Change

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Person Reading For Pleasure

"Long time no see!"

This is my Dad --- One of the people I evolved from.

Jesus with mobile.