Old-world Charm Admirer Gifts

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Falstaff

"What old school? This is my life."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

Old-fashioned computer

"'A', I'm adorable."

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Person Reading For Pleasure

"I've gone for a retro phone."

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

"Hey, I don't see Harry Truman's name on the ballot!"

"It takes years before some people are comfortable enough to say hello."

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

Victorian bachelors leering over woman.

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

Adult filmstrips

'Sure been busy! Good thing it's the slow time of year!'

'Wow, this really is an incredible space ...'

My Name is Lucky.

General Store Modernises

Spring Cleaning

"Oooh, wind chimes�how New Age."

"So close to the house! And with a half moon! Living the dream!"

The End is Nigh!

"Hi! Just a quick call to say thanks for still using a landline."

"It's not outdated - it's retro."

Antiques: Please do not use door knocker.