Historic Charm Appreciator Pillows

Damn me! I knew they'd get past those planning laws somehow.

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Posh Easter Egg

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Baby car seat for a Native American.

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

"It's a student you taught 20 years ago asking if you'd loan him bail money!"

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Person Reading For Pleasure

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"When I was your age, a crackpot carried a 'The End Is Near' sign. He didn't tweet it."

"Long time no see!"