Old-school Charm Appreciator Pillows

"It's not outdated - it's retro."

Demure lady with gloves

"What old school? This is my life."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Falstaff

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Old-fashioned computer

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Person Reading For Pleasure

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Hey, I don't see Harry Truman's name on the ballot!"

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

Victorian bachelors leering over woman.

"I think we're beginning to chip away at the stigma."

Adult filmstrips

'Wow, this really is an incredible space ...'

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

Spring Cleaning

Antiques: Please do not use door knocker.

"Hi! Just a quick call to say thanks for still using a landline."

Chimney Sweep

"Oooh, wind chimes�how New Age."

The End is Nigh!

Rock'n Rolodex

'Eh...has anyone got a pencil?'

Damn me! I knew they'd get past those planning laws somehow.

'... but for a full ENGLISH breakfast you can't beat Blackpool, sir!'