Rust Worrier Gifts

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

I hate monday mornings.

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

I think I have a gilt complex.

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'