Rural Urbanite Pillows

Urban relocation

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Mr Metrosexual.

"They’re real."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"What's wrong, girl? Trouble? Rachel can't decide which private school to attend?" "Upper West Side Lassie"

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Farmers' Warnings.

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Milkin' Impossible

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

An English Gold Field

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

A cow on a drip.

Gertie, the tree climbing has to stop!

Rooster

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Horse Clean-up

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"