Rural Living Pillows

'Your silo or mine?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"You're in my spot!"

"Sometimes I wish you had taken that job in New York."

Rural Health Care.

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

H2O

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'It's an EIEIO!'

'Are you telling me you wouldn't like to golf when you're out in the fields.'

Flat Cap and whippet

Next Rural Healthcare 300 Miles.

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

Lord of the Manor.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Keep off the grass

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

Businessman As A Weather Vane

An English Gold Field

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

EEEEEEW!

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

Standup comic doing pro-bono work in isolated rural area.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'That's old Doc Reinow! Forty years practicing...

Cow to other: 'One of us has to wear a bell if we want to be herd.'

It was an impulse buy.

"I wasn't concentrating, I was listening to the Archers"

'We love the countryside, especially since all the shops moved out there.'

"So what's it like living out in the sticks"

"Alright, I'll try again next year... you know, one of these days you'll wake up and say, 'Why don't I have DSL?!'"

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.