Rural Living Pillows

'Your silo or mine?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"You're in my spot!"

"Sometimes I wish you had taken that job in New York."

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

Rural Health Care.

H2O

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'It's an EIEIO!'

Next Rural Healthcare 300 Miles.

Flat Cap and whippet

'You wanted a home where the buffalo roam...'

'Are you telling me you wouldn't like to golf when you're out in the fields.'

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Lord of the Manor.

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

Keep off the grass

An English Gold Field

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

EEEEEEW!

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

Standup comic doing pro-bono work in isolated rural area.

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

Cow to other: 'One of us has to wear a bell if we want to be herd.'

It was an impulse buy.

'Great. You found my septic tank.'

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

'We love the countryside, especially since all the shops moved out there.'

"Alright, I'll try again next year... you know, one of these days you'll wake up and say, 'Why don't I have DSL?!'"

"So what's it like living out in the sticks"

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'That's old Doc Reinow! Forty years practicing...