Rural Ringleader T-Shirts

A Cowpat A cow patting another cow

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

The Pooperrazzi

'Publish or perish doesn't apply to coaching, Yomp - it's recruit, recruit, win, win, win!'

"I've got a pulse!"

"This is nice. Just you, me, Buster and a landscape by Andrew Wyeth."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'I'll be finished with the surgery by 1 o'clock!'

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

'It's okay, Larry, I've got this one.'

"He's a genius at product placement."

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

"Mr Shamani co-ordinates boardroom rituals."

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

Terrance McWit, Attorney at Law, Last Lawyer for 387 Miles.

'The health dept. takes a great leap forward.'

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

'Fire straw one!'

"No, sorry. I couldn't possibly take on another one. I'm short-staffed as it is."

"You're not from around here, are you?"

Clown Car Lane: 10 or More

Country Cat/City Car

"Is America's heartland what people in flyover states call home?"