Runway Dweller Gifts

'I saved 10 minutes at the hotel with speedy checkout, 10 minutes at the car rental with instant check in. Now I'm spending 6 hours on the runway.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

Two airplanes

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Upper West Side Story

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

A menu with risks and benefits

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

"Thank you."

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

"Scat!"

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

An ellipsis in the sky

'I can't get John to do a thing to the garden!'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Old Yarns

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

Jane found she just couldn't handle the fast-paced life of a runway model

Auld Gang Sign

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"...A meaningful epiphany or just a line from some dumb TV commercial?"

Power, Money, Ego, Hype, Parking.