Rune Casting Gifts

Tarot Lying

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Just be yourself."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Knight Golfing

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Tom Hanks

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

Moustached gentleman

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Goddess

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Casting in the swamp.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Charlotte Rampling

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."