Acting Rehearsal Gifts

"Just be yourself."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Cut!

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Joan Hickson

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Jack Gleeson

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Theatre Crowd

Reese Witherspoon

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."