Rule Makers Gifts

"I've finished the health and safety check. The office pencil has been blunted and locked in the safe and I've dampened the stationery to avoid paper cuts."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"We interrupt this special bulletin about Ferguson and Tulsa, to bring you a special bulletin about Baltimore..."

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

No Smoking.

'So who's smoking?'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'Click it or ticket.'

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'

'What a control freak!'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

NHS Stabbing Ward

"Hands up those in favour of deferring the firm's environmental policies for another few years."

The Last Republican in America

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'