Rugelach Lover Gifts

King Kohen

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

E-Baying @ The Moon

Woman with kids at husbands office.

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Coach, were you forced to resign? ...'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

Chicken: the one-man show

Claude

'If fish are brain food, how come they're dumb enough to get caught?'

Lady has a coffee break.

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

Fisherman get a good catch.

It

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

The art of fishing.

'We're busy, cha-cha-cha!'

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

My birthday suit is out of fashion.

"Your early stuff was funnier."

"Oh yes, he was a big bad wolf, but I've turned him into a devoted husband and a great father..."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

"That's me Uncle Magee. He's half Irish, half scotch."

'It's plastic, Ben, it's only plastic!'

'I was set to go on vacation, but I didn't have the right luggage...So I asked Gary Sinise if I could borrow the bags under his eyes.'

'I heard he was funny.'

'We have live bait,dead bait,artifical bait,what they're hitting bait,and bait you can eat if the fish don't.'

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