Rug Seller Gifts

"That's against the rules...."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

'Big Issue...'

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

Man saying 'Bless you!' to a Big Issue vendor.

'I'm melting! I'm melting! and on the good rug, too!'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

The world's oldest braided rug

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

Live goldfish for sale

A street scene.

The way I look at it...give a man a fish and you got a potential customer. Teach a man to fish and you lose market share.

"Let's cut some rug!"

A rug skinned bear

"Whoa! You must have eight rugs on! How's that feel? Are you warm enough?"

"I'm not angry. I just want to know what you have against 17th-century Isfahan rugs."

A man steps on the tail of an animal skin rug

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."

"Sales of your book has been slow. We've decided to put it out on video."

Flea Exodus

Clothes Vendor in Hounsditch

'How to survive chapter 11.'

BOOKSHOP, 'Do you have 'Books for Dummies'?' 'Well, duh!'

Heaven on a stick.