Royalty Dining T-Shirts

'I think you'd enjoy the king crab, sir.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."