Regal Diners T-Shirts

"We'll get a good table—they know me."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Can I have flies with that'

"Regular service or affected?"

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Aperitif?"

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

Zagat Rated.

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"Linguini for two?"

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'You made me jump,'

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'