Regal Diners T-Shirts

"We'll get a good table—they know me."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'How is the water prepared?'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Zagat Rated.

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Aperitif?"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"Linguini for two?"

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'You made me jump,'

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Lunch