Gourmet Diner T-Shirts

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"The flounder's not bad, but it's you I'm nuts about."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

La Table

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

To do before Saturday...

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I come here for the pepper."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

The Main Types of Cheese

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Too much cilantro

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."