Gourmet Diner T-Shirts

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"The flounder's not bad, but it's you I'm nuts about."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

La Table

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

French wine

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

To do before Saturday...

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro