Royal Watch Enthusiasts Pillows

'They're ten stories down - How can they look suspicious.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"He's a guard dog."

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Czarcasm

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

British Prime Minister

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."