Royal Watch Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'They're ten stories down - How can they look suspicious.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

British Prime Minister

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'