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Oversized Cigar

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'And Dubois, here, is in charge of due process.'

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

"Wow! I can feel the synergy already."

'Actually I'm not the queen - I'm undercover for the Daily Mirror'.

'Try to see things from my point of view.'

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

The Queen's Flight

'Investors worry about your obvious lack of a succession plan.'

1420: The court of Henry V. "Good news Sire! We have apprehended the man who cut your hair!"

'There's another hereditary disease that runs in the royal family. Your grandfather was a stubborn fool, your father was a stubborn fool, and you are a stubborn fool.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"Worse than a cold. It's a common cold."

'Nonsense, dear. You're very corrupt. Absolute corruption just takes time.'

'And in the next part of the ceremony you will swear allegiance to the Queen.'

'Never mind. I'm sure the Royal wedding will cheer us all up.'

Fanciful 'Continental' Marriage of Prince George and Maria Anne Fitzherbert

"Sorry, Dad, but it's time to consider a retirement kingdom."

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

'I need some help with my homework, Dad -- do you know anybody who's any good at political science?'

'The great thing about autocracy is government can be the answer to everything.'

'And I suppose YOU'VE never started an unnecessary war!'

'Monarchy under fire': 'This royal throne of kings, this sceptic Isle!'

"Sure, meritocracies are fine, but why take the chance?"

'Not very chatty, are you? Typical British reserve.'

'Remember, my dear, it's just a starter castle.'

'You can't solve ALL your problems by beheading them.'

"Your signature, Your Majesty, as well as your driver's license and a major credit card."

Prince Edward

"Just because you can wear a sweatsuit all the time doesn't mean you SHOULD"

'We call him Palace - that's where he was conceived.'

'Don't you just love having tax-exempt status?!'

'I've decided to downsize — everybody with an even Social Security number has to leave the country.'

'If you need me I'll be on the throne.'