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'It's a 'slap-on, slap-off' light.

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'Bad news, Sire -- it's the Mongrel Hordes!'

Sorry, Full: 'That won't keep illegal immigrants out!'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"She wishes to range free!"

"He's a guard dog."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

Czarcasm

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Frog Prince

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Princess Anne

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'