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'It's a 'slap-on, slap-off' light.

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'Bad news, Sire -- it's the Mongrel Hordes!'

Sorry, Full: 'That won't keep illegal immigrants out!'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"She wishes to range free!"

"He's a guard dog."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Frog Prince

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Princess Anne

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."