Royal Role-player Gifts

Not 'Time' or 'Newsweek' yet, Sire — but you made the cover of 'Dungeons and Dragons'!

'Try this, dear, it's enough to take your head off.'

'Coming up! One meal, fit for a King!'

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

'Sorry about the war, folks - I was off my meds.'

Jack Gleeson

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

The Royal Wii

King Pin

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

'I seek an audience with the king.'

'What do you mean you don't believe I'm really a Princess?'

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'Apparently, they've gone rogue, Al. They've stopped playing roles and are speaking for themselves, and what we have here are two very disturbed bruins.'

'Don't you remember These are bar stools where we first met.'

'I'm willing to do a little romantic role-playing, Greg, but I draw the line at Spock ears.'

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

Ethelred II

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

All new holiday season hard wear.

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

"How would you like to be queen for a day?"

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'My brother-in-law asked for political asylum, so I had him committed.'

"He thinks he is a character from a John Grisham novel."

You're getting a crown for cosmetic purposes. You're not being made the ruler of all us other teeth.

A king stands on his balcony; his legs match the balustrade.