Royal Role-players Gifts

'Fifty megatons? — I certainly hope it has a trigger lock!'

'Not only did they overthrow me, the bums also kept the damage deposit!'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Jack Gleeson

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

My horse for a kingdom.

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

"You rang, m'lord?"

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'What do you mean you don't believe I'm really a Princess?'

The Height of Impudence.

'Apparently, they've gone rogue, Al. They've stopped playing roles and are speaking for themselves, and what we have here are two very disturbed bruins.'

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

Ethelred II

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"How would you like to be queen for a day?"

'Congratulations -- you've been promoted from churl to knave!'

'Coming up! One meal, fit for a King!'

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

'Sorry about the war, folks - I was off my meds.'