Royal Event Gifts

"Any apologies for absence?"

Cord cutter

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

That's my son

'That's nothing I am one million years old and if I had their kind of money I would be a boulder in my own Canyon.'

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

Sabrage

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

Football Royalty

Not My Coronation Quiche

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

'It could be the wedding of the century!'

Royal Wedding - Car with celebratory union flags,

Princess

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Hello Bob, how was the Grand Prix at Silverstone..?'

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

"Wedding dresses have just shot up all over the realm!"

"William and Kate are having another baby, I'm just saying."

Capitalist Being Paid by Monarch

'I was a private guest at the Royal Wedding last weekend!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Meghan Markle at Wimbledon

This Camilla Parker Bowles mug. This is Worzel Gummidge with his name crossed out!

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"I give it a year."

'It's working! It's working! Keep rolling and we will eat like kings!!'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

Best Guards.