Attending A Royal Event Gifts

Not My Coronation Quiche

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Sloaney Pony.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Blue Dress and Feather

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I always cry at weddings!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

How to read the dress code?

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

'Hey! is that a good fit or not?'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

Man in a Tuxedo

"You've got to blurb me to her."

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"Any apologies for absence?"

Ladies not wearing crinolines at a party

"Where's the nearest Detux centre?"

"Do you mind if we cut out the small talk?"

Ladies Night