Attending A Royal Event Gifts

Not My Coronation Quiche

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Sloaney Pony.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

Blue Dress and Feather

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

All dressed up and no place to go

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

How to read the dress code?

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

'Hey! is that a good fit or not?'

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Man in a Tuxedo

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"Any apologies for absence?"

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

Ladies not wearing crinolines at a party

"Do you mind if we cut out the small talk?"

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"