Royal Chef Pillows

'It's blueberry...Blackbirds are out of season.'

"I'm the king's food taster. He likes comfort foods."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Witch's Brew.

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

How I met your mother

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Turkey again! It's the sixth of January... Just how big was that flaming bird?!'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"