Routine Optimizer Pillows

Kids' energy levels

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

'I suppose your bath's ready...'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"You keep impeccable time."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Daily Routine

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

The ROI on social media was not yet optimized.

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

Castle Efficiency

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

The Devolution of Man

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'