Route Optimizer Pillows

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Blowing dust off an order book.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

The Devolution of Man

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Kids' energy levels

"That's your tiny house!"

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"I, too, like being festive, but since we live in a nest, space is a factor."

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

Derision/Leader/Respect

'I prefer it this way.'

GPS HIghway to Hell

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'