Route Optimizer Pillows

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Blowing dust off an order book.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

The Devolution of Man

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Castle Efficiency

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"That's your tiny house!"

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Kids' energy levels

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"I, too, like being festive, but since we live in a nest, space is a factor."

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

Derision/Leader/Respect

GPS HIghway to Hell

'I prefer it this way.'

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'Ms Brown, I think I need a bigger desk!'