Route Planner Gifts

Point A / Point B

'Well done Simkins! That's my kind of bypass.'

Tourists

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

Monday: Next 7 exits.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

BIG BOOK OF CAMPER VAN NAMES

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Car Emissions

HS2

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

A world choked with people mindlessly on the move

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."