Rotary Club Member Gifts

'It's all part of that 'Devolving Power'...'Big Society' thing...I got the nuclear attack coded and Bill down at the Rotary got Civil Defence.'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Men drinking

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

Late again.

The not so easy rider...

Hello, auto club? I have an emergency. What's happened, sir? Ever since I upgraded to iOS 8, my iPhone hasn't been syncing with my car stereo over bluetooth. I don't feel comfortable driving without being able to hear my "driving" playlist. How long till you get here? Sir, we're going to have to revoke your membership.

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

"I'd like to be on time for school but it makes the day too long!"

Wordilly Durdillies - Rotery club

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"So son, this is the no-fly zone I was telling you about: although they are trying to shoot clay pigeons, it is safer to avoid the area altogether..."

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

'Steward, this fellow hasn't spoken for a week. Be a good chap and feel his pulse will you?'

'It suprises me you want your files organized.

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

Noises from armpits.

Cricket Prospects.

'It's not for sale.'

I can't stand it when they double park!

'Same school, old boy, fancy a drink at the club?'